Life and Loves

Learning to Live Life with a Full Heart

The First Year with Copper

We’ve had Copper for about a year. We’ve had Chip for almost 4 years and he’s a really great dog, but not what I would call cuddly. He’s like a cat, indifferent, but cute. He doesn’t like to go places, he pukes in the car and is very stubborn. Jason and I were looking for another dog to add to our already crazy family, nothing too big with more hair and slightly higher energy.

We looked at several breeds and breeders. We are not “adopt don’t shop” people, with so many stipulations we can’t just get whatever and hope for the best. I’m not saying one is better than the other either, we don’t get them because they are purebred, we get them for how they are bred and raised. Anyway. He was such an adorable little fluffball, but he cried and screamed like a banshee! It was excruciating.

We quickly learned that this dog was extremely needy. Which is both good and bad. It’s good because he wants to cuddle you. He will hop on the chair or bed and literally sit on you or lean and lay on you. He’s very loving, such a cuddlebug. It’s also bad because of all of those things and he’ll lick you to death! We’ve had to establish clear boundaries and assert our alpha with Copper. With Chip, he’s so sweet you look at him wrong and he’ll go find a friendlier person to protect him. We have to shove Copper away and give direct commands. He’s such a sausage you can’t be soft with him. It helped a lot to watch Alpha, actually. Ha!

He’s house trained, listens well and we love him to pieces, but it’s definitely a love/hate! He’s so sweet, but chews up everything!! Anything he can find he’ll chew up. My llama Jason got me wasn’t even safe. Expensive things! Hiking boots! Electronics! LOL dolls!

He herds. That is definitely the breed, but Chippy doesn’t need to be herded. If we go out of his sight when we’re out in town or on a hike he goes into banshee mode. He needs a walk every day. What he really needs is a job. A farm to run around on or something without chickens. He’s killed one of our chickens even though we trained him to herd, find or leave them alone. He just got bored.

Now that I am home everyday, we’ve been refining his skills. He’s a good dog, he really is, he just takes a lot of work! I’m able to walk him more often. We’ve been working on the command, Leave It. When he tries to herd Chippy, I’ve told him to Leave It and he is, it just takes time and consistency. He has really improved this last week or two. He gets some slow treat toys or peanut butter in the kong while I’m working on stuff and can’t pay attention to him. We’re adapting. We had been putting feelers out about finding him a different home wth no luck. If we are doing our best and he still needs more, then he needs to be in a different family. No one is able to take him and secretly I’m glad. He’s a stinker, but he’s my stinker.

What I Learned From My First Big Girl Job

That’s right, learned, as in past tense. I’ve recently left the county. I put my notice in and due to a toxic environment left earlier than expected. Lets just say people show their true colors when you stop playing their games.

I was so very naive when I started the job. I thought if you work hard it would be all cupcakes and rainbows. Unfortunately, you gotta have a lot more tools in your tool box than that in order to flourish.

Here’s what I learned:

  1. I’m self motivated. I sincerely did not know this about myself and it was one of the reasons I started looking for a job. I thought I needed someone to tell me what to do in order to stick to a schedule or plan. It turns out I don’t. I got almost zero supervision and direction during my time there and did exceptionally well with what was first expected of me.
  2. I need to work on receiving constructive criticism. Or maybe I need to learn to take bad criticism? Not all supervisors are equipped to give constructive feedback and I recognize that I can take things personally and need to bypass the hurt feelings and ask more questions.
  3. I want to be there for my children. This year has kicked our ass when it comes to sickness. I think my kiddos have been more sick than they ever have in their entire lifetimes combined this year. I attribute this to stress, poor nutrition due to convenience and limited time constraints and shitty weather. (Has it finally stopped raining??) When they’re sick, I want to be able to take the time off necessary to get them well without having to feel guilty all around.
  4. I don’t give a crap about appearances. But others do. Being in leadership has a lot more to do with looking right than being right. Some people play this game better than others. At the end of the day I still want my work to speak for itself and if it doesn’t, then I need to find another position.
  5. I have more confidence. We recently went to a wedding and I was surprised at my comfort level with speaking with anyone in the room. I look people in the eye and say “Good Morning!” command respect and give respect. As a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) for 7 years I lost myself a little bit and doubted my abilities. My time with the County gave me experience and confidence in myself and pushed me to be better. I will forever be grateful for that.
  6. I’m really lucky. I say that because I didn’t have to stay in an environment that I didn’t enjoy and couldn’t see myself in for very long. There were some really great people there that I’m going to miss and there were some turds. I’m sure that’s true for any work environment. Thankfully, I had a choice in whether to stay or go.
Sitting at Ingles after yoga one morning doing homework

I’m really happy being a SAHM for now. I have applied for a few positions, but haven’t heard anything yet and I’m okay with taking a little break. I don’t have any regrets because I learned a lot and will use these valuable lessons in the future. I now have more time for school (yep, still getting that HR degree!) and when the kiddos are sick, the dog has to go to the vet or the kids have doctor or dentist appointments, I’m available. That might not seem like a big deal to some, but it is to me. In the end, it made me a better SAHM. Imagine that.

Starting Fresh

I’m ambitious this semester with three classes. Now that I’ve got a handle on what grad school looks like and the expectations I feel better prepared and I do NOT want to drag this degree out for three years. I’m excited about my classes! I’m getting into the nitty gritty of Human Resources and there are some legit HR people I’ll get to work with, so I’m looking forward to hearing from their perspectives. Also, my teachers this semester seem pretty cool.

To prep, I got a new smaller backpack to hold a book or two and my awesome Surface Go. I literally walk into the office with three different bags, my lunchbox and my coffee every morning. It’s ridiculous. My purse, of course, my school bag and now my gym bag! I use an access card to get in the door, so that makes it even more fun juggling everything! At least they’re cute bags…I tell myself as I try not to drop everything. I also got a small weekly whiteboard to keep me focused and organized with what I should be working on that week. Can’t be in denial if it’s right in my face! I will be doing a ton of reading and writing this semester, but NO VIDEOS. So happy about that.

I’ve been pretty consistent about going to the gym. There is a small window between getting off of work and picking up the kids where I can workout and I attend a group session once a week to keep me motivated and hang with likeminded folk. Last week there were too many appts and Jason wasn’t able to grab the kiddos for me, so I managed to attend a yoga class which was thoroughly enjoyable. Working out is keeping me sane. Even if it’s just 20 minutes of cardio, my body and brain are much happier for it.

I’m trying to capitalize on this get r dun energy and set myself up for success. The last thing we decided to do was get some cleaning help. We’re perfectly capable of cleaning our house. It’s not squeaky clean by any means, but we can maintain our household. However, I spend more time cleaning than relaxing and with being in school again, something has to give. We have a friend of a friend coming over this evening to give us a quote on a once a week, hit the big stuff, cleaning. If she can sweep and mop, vacuum and clean our bathroom that’s hours I can devote to homework, family time or recuperation from a tough week. I’m finding that choosing where to devote time is a make or break decision. It’s kind of funny having to hire multiple people to do the job I was doing as a stay at home mom. Cleaning, after school and holiday care, dog walker etc. I love working, but at some point I start to wonder if it makes sense monetarily. This is an investment in our future…I tell myself as I fork over money to someone else to do things I used to do for free.

I’ve finally figured out how this working full-time things actually plays out. I really struggled with being at work when my work was completed. Why am I here if I technically don’t have anything to do. I’m wasting my time, your time and money. Apparently, that’s okay. Downtime is built into the day. I had to shift my focus from an hourly employee watching the clock, to a salary employee who’s paid to get a job done and be available for anything that comes up. I’ve also learned what to do with that downtime and incorporate it into a bigger picture, one that is less rigid and more relaxed. I didn’t necessarily change my work ethic, just how I view how my time is spent. It’s been a game changer.

Except for today when Henry is sick and I’m home for a few hours. At least I get to blog a little and cuddle my puppers.

Happy New Year

New year, new goals. Each year I choose a word to manifest what I’d like to do/work on or accomplish in many avenues. This year my word is balance. I’ve been working really hard to obtain things the last few years; my degree, a job, self-discipline, but now it’s time to maintain and the only way I can do that is by learning to balance work/life home/health social/solitude, all the things.

Christmas was pretty quiet. This is the year that Noah and Nora go to their dad’s house for Christmas Day, so it was just Jason and I and the littles. Grandma came by as well and Uncle Bobby for a bit to take a walk with the doggos, but that was all of the excitement.

What was different this year is Noah is now an adult according to the airlines and can fly with a minor (Nora). Instead of doing that horrid drive 5 hours and meet halfway and then 5 hours back, we only needed to drive 3 twice to take them to the airport and they were in Florida in a little over an hour. Noah has flown a couple times before, but this was Nora’s first time. It was a little scary of course, but worth it to them.

Jason was able to get our guest bathroom redone while the Bigs were in Florida. The floor floats a bit, so the tile that was laid when the house was built had begun to break up and become unstable. Jason took the opportunity to relay something different. We had planned on doing just a sheet of linoleum, but the choices were pretty sad and we didn’t need twelve feet, so we went with a “luxury vinyl” that laid like tile and spaced it for grout. It turned out fantastic!

I’m a little jelly, actually, and contemplating what other projects Jason can do next year. Ha! We also got some painting done. Last Christmas Jason built Henry’s room, so he’s lived with half painted walls and bare drywall for a year. We painted Henry’s room, the hallway and Lorelei’s room too. She’s been living with neon orange walls for about the same time, but she now has a medium pink that she picked out herself and some adorable curtains to match. It seems to have lit a fire in Jason and he may just finish a few other projects without my prodding!

I start my next semester of school in 11 days. I am relishing this time where I can play games, watch movies and read! I’ve committed to 3 classes and the goal of graduating in May 2020. I’ve also already committed to a meditation workshop, one day yoga retreat and have started back at the gym with the most adorable trainer. Her nickname should be bubbles. Working full-time is hard, yo. Even if the job is part of the dream goals. Happy New Year!

Masklophobia

I may have gone to Disney as a child, but I don’t remember any of it. I think I went with a friend when I was five because I have a memory of a picture of us there, but again, no memory of that trip. My mascot for high school was a ship. Go Dreadnaughts! If we went to a theme park, it was Busch Gardens or Cypress Gardens, not a lot of full-bodied costumes going on there.

So when we went to Legoland a couple of years ago, I was surprised by my reaction to Emmett and Wyldstyle as we got our family picture taken with them.

In my mind I realized that there were people in those character costumes and had a mini meltdown on the inside. We moved along and I didn’t think much on it. We didn’t see any more characters after that and it was whatevs.

I wanna say that trip was 5 years ago. Last year we went to a major fundraiser for the little’s school and lo and behold, they have a mascot. It’s an adorable wolf with a pink bow in her hair. I think her name is Ivey. I saw her around briefly, but at the end of the night as we were making our way out the doors, she was standing by them saying goodbye to all of the kids. Adorable, right? I see Ivey and am sortof “on alert”, but not freaking out, just leaving the fundraiser, nbd. Until she approaches Henry whom I am walking with out the door. OMG. I freaked. I could not control my reaction which was get the crap away as quickly as possible. I shoved Henry, my then 4 year old, out of the way and hurried through the doors. Thankfully, Jason was behind us with the rest of the kiddos and acted normally while I waited for them to say their goodbyes.

I then started researching if being afraid of mascots was a thing and it is a thing! “Masklaphobia is the fear of people in masks and costumes such as mascots, full-bodied costumed characters, masquerade costumes and Halloween costumes.” (phobia.wikia.com) I’m down with regular masks. If a person has a face mask on, but I can see the rest of their body, I’m totally cool with that. If I can’t see your body and you are full enveloped, don’t come near me. I have enough rationale to deal with the mascot being —->>> over there, although I am on HIGH alert. We do plan on taking a Disney trip at some point soon, so that should be a lot of fun.

Jason took a picture of me freaking out last night and I find it hilarious now, but in the midst of that scary wolf person trying to make me five him, he actually poked me!! I cannot even describe to you the relief of the wolf walking away from me. I did read that fear of mascots and masks in kids is a developmental thing. Eventually kids realize that the wolf isn’t a bad guy and all that. This is different. I know he’s not bad, but I still freak out. I could actually go to therapy for this! There are ways to work on this fear. It just seems so silly! If kids persist in being scared, though in a crying freak out way, they could have maskaphobia or masklophobia. (That’s my PSA for the day). Go Wolves! …away…far away…

3 Green Products Worth your Money

I have sensitive skin. I always have, my daughter has sensitive skin as well and I try to be health conscious. Two things I’ve done for the past ten or so years is read labels and choose wisely meaning I’m realistic about my purchases. For cleaning products, I want plant based and simple. I use vinegar, essential oils and water to mop my floors, greenworks and I are buds. The thing is, if I’m gonna spend my money on it, it has to work AND be at least less harmful than let’s say- bleach. I tried Seventh Generation dishsoap the free and clear kind a while ago and it was like washing with water. Nope.

When it comes to food, I definitely have to choose the lesser of two evils. Oy, that sounds harsh. Here’s an example: fruit snacks. The kids LOVE fruit snacks, or as I like to call them, corn syrup balls because that’s the first ingredient on 90% of fruit snack packages. The only kind I’ve been able to find that starts with some sort of fruit puree is Welch’s fruit snacks. Don’t get me wrong, these are not a healthy snack by any means, but slightly better than corn syrup balls. They are also convenient and not a perishable item, so good for Summer Camp. I used to buy all organic, but just because it’s organic doesn’t mean it’s a healthy choice.

The last product I’ve tackled in trying to go green is makeup. I’ve been an avid user of Honeybee Gardens mineral pressed powder for years. It’s my favorite as far as powders, but lately I’ve needed something with a little more coverage. I’ve also tried their lipstick and mascara, but was not impressed. I follow a couple of beauty bloggers, one of them is Whoorl, but her budget is much higher than mine! I have to pick and choose what’s for me or find alternatives to what she recommends. It’s great information though. I also enjoy following Citrine Natural Beauty Bar on Insta @citrinebeautyaz. They do a lot of tutorials and demonstrations, so you can see the products in use in their stories. High end makeup is definitely worth it, but not if it breaks the bank. Here are three products under $30 that I am loving:


(I got these images 1, 2, 3, 4, from the interwebs.)

First, One Love Organics Easy Does It Foaming Cleanser. I was skeptical at first, like I said, I have very sensitive skin, especially my eyes. This cleanser is the first cleanser I’ve used to wash my eye makeup off. It is so gentle! It actually removes almost all of the eye makeup, which means I’m not scrubbing with a cotton pad and makeup remover. That eye area is delicate, yo. Worth it.

The second product I’ve fallen in love with is Grande mascara. It sounds like you are ordering a Starbucks drink, but this mascara is amazing. Regular mascara (read: covergirl) irritates my eyes, meaning I’m rubbing them constantly and developing styes, so I stay away from the lower end mascaras. I have used Almay’s conditioning mascara for a few years, which doesn’t irritate my eyes as much, but is so clumpy. I had planned to try Jane Iredale’s purelash mascara, but when I went to get my mother’s day massage, the girl at Fusion’s talked me into trying the Grande instead. So glad I did. This mascara is again- so gentle. It’s definitely lengthening, but not only that it is not clumpy or flaky and for me is nonirritating. #win

The last product I want to share with you is W3ll People’s foundation stick. At first I was like, “ew..a foundation stick??” I love it. I swipe it a few times over my clean face and then blend with a makeup sponge. It is light, but has coverage. I have heard it isn’t great for oily skin, though. Mine is more dry, so it works for me. I also use their concealer, which I like, but combined doesn’t work well with my mineral powder. I plan to try their skin brightening powder next, to set both the concealer and foundation. I will let you know how I like it! I bought all the W3ll people items at Target. I am an online shopper for sure, but it’s nice to hold things in your hand, especially makeup.

As a bonus, there is a shampoo and conditioner I have been loving. It’s expensive, but for thick, difficult hair like mine it is a godsend. Marula Oil rare oil replenishing shampoo by Paul Mitchell. I’ve also tried their Super Skinny shampoo (not a fan) and the awapuhi wild ginger shampoo and conditioner which I like, but is more for middle of the road hair, like Nora’s hair not too thick, not too wild. I wash every other day and use a shampoo I like in between (Maui) that maintains cleanliness for a much cheaper price, but is still gentle.

I hope these help if you’re in the market for a new cleanser, mascara or foundation, but have sensitive skin, like me. Happy Sunday!

Henry’s Birthday

Birthday number 5. I almost can’t believe I made it here. When the kids are little and you are in the trenches, not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel full of diapers and baby wearing or toddler lunches you dream of that day when they all go to school! It is finally happening.

Here are some pics from that day:

We did end up inviting the cousins over and playing those old school games and it was really fun. The egg game was a lot easier than I remember it being (balancing the spoon and racing to the finish line). Maybe kids these fays are a lot more daring? Popping the balloons was the most hilarious especially considering some of the kiddos are just too light to pop them! They ended up rolling around on the balloon like when you try to get on a floaty when you’re already in the water.

Henry got a ton of Paw Patrol stuff and still wants more. I swear it is his mission to have all things Paw Patrol. He tried to talk me into a baby sun hat the other day!

After the party we went to see Incredibles 2. Cousins too! I just love that they are growing up together. This is probably the first movie Henry has ever sat through from beginning to end. He did bring a small toy into the theater, which I’m sure the adults around him loved. My SIL Trisha certainly did. Lol

I’m blurry because I’m instructing my husband on how best to take this picture. Controlling much? Atleast now I can claim “expert” with my art degree. Haha! We had a great day and grandma was here too, keeping the dogs company because they love her best.

Two weeks to go before the bigs return…

Family Camping at Montreat

“Let’s go camping for your birthday, honey! Oh it’ll be great, my friend went camping at this beautiful place and it has bathrooms and a creek close by, we can totally try this whole “family camping” thing out!” -Me a few weeks ago

I generally dislike camping. There are things I really like about it, but it is utter, disorganized chaos and the avalanche of discomfort makes me a little cookoo. I loved the fire and the s’mores! I loved being in nature and hearing the creek at night. It was definitely a reprieve from our normal routine and the kids LOVED it. They had so much fun playing at the nearby playground, exploring the creek and again, s’mores. Henry decided he just likes regular marshmallows, after dropping his first s’more on the ground, in the dark, discovered as the dogs are trying to eat it!

Henry was told to grab shorts out of the dryer, but did not. One pair of shorts for three days. The dogs hated it. Copper cried/barked/howled like a banshee almost the entire time. Chip was less vocal until grandma came along and left him to play in the creek with the actual grandkids. Copper was thankfully quiet at night, but did require a walk in the wee hours. Sleeping was great. My man got me a cot (scoliosis and sleeping on the hard ground is excruciating), so that part was chill and my only requirement for making this venture.

I think our critical mistake was driving up Friday night. We got there at 830p which didn’t give us much time to put up a tent and make dinner. Especially because the grill was so rusted it broke off the pole just as Jason started to prep it. Let’s just say we had s’mores for dinner. (they are slowly replacing these at the camp sites, we just happened to be the lucky ones to experience this)

I chalk this all up to a learning experience. I’m willing to try again, probably not with the dogs. We’ll trade two dogs for two more kids. Ha! The site was really great, if you are looking for a somewhat local place to camp (Black Mountain) Montreat has some kid friendly sites available on the cheap.

We were able to celebrate Jason’s Birthday with Publix cupcakes my mom brought with her, so that was definitely a highlight. *note the chaos

Happy Birthday, Hubby! Hope this was a memorable birthday for ya!

Getting into the Groove

I finally feel like I’m adjusting. Which means pretty soon things will change again. The kids still love their summer camp. My job is starting to feel like mine and I’m taking on more responsibilities.

We are preparing to celebrate Henry’s birthday this weekend. Since we’re down two kids I’ve invited his cousins over to play. I’m thinking they’re ready for simple party games! I plan to do the balloon race where you put a balloon between your legs, race to one end of the living room, pop it and return. Maybe the egg race where you put a boiled egg on the end of your spoon and everyone races to the other side without dropping it. I’ll have to get cool prizes too.

We usually do just immediate family because there’s 6 of us and once you start inviting family members it gets out of control and you invite everyone because you don’t want to hurt feelings. It’s dumb and I refuse to play. I wonder how many other families do that? I used to do big parties, but once you hit four kids, it’s always a party, so no need to get crazy. Plus the presents. I’m not even gonna go there. I already vow to do the four presents only things for Christmas this year. Need, wear, read, want. I’ll let you know how that goes. This year the bigs go to their father’s first, so it will be a small Christmas anyway.

I almost bought a Christmas present the other day. I’m getting weirder and weirder as I get older. A present in June? It was a little thing, but seriously? It’s because I like buying presents. I like buying you presents, I like buying me presents. Ha! That’s kinda how black Friday and cyber Monday end up going. “one for me and one for you”.

I did a face mask this evening. That’s how I can tell things are settling down. You’d think I’d do them when I was crazy stressed and needed that 15 minutes of not doing anything but scaring the kids with my monster face, but no, I do it when I feel good. I also decided to go a little blonde on a bit of a whim. I’m not usually a blonde girl, but it’s been a long time since I did highlights and my hair stylists has crazy good skills, so I went for it.

I’m looking forward to decorating my new office. I hope I’ll be able to make it fun, but also inviting to whoever needs to chat or gripe or ask questions. I’m enjoying my new role and hope I do a good job once I’m truly doing it and not just helping to do it (training). Three weeks of training so far and it has been intense! One last week to solidify my knowledge and make the final transition into my big girl job. Still excited.

Manifestation

I worked hard for this, wanted it, planned for it, attained it. I’m talking about working outside of the home. I say outside because I worked my tail off at home too, some would say I worked harder. Now, being on the other side, working a full-time job, I’m mostly grateful. I am very grateful that Jason worked hard to make staying home with the kiddos an option.

I never aspired to be a stay at home mom. The mundane tasks after the baby stage made me batty. I loved being home with my newborns up until they were probably a year and a half and then I was ready to do something else, something that felt more productive, but circumstances made that seem like not the best idea. It wasn’t the best because of either childcare, local job options or my own ambition. Also, the guilt. How could I choose to put my children in childcare that took most of my earnings to pass the time when it wasn’t a career? Especially when I knew I wanted my bachelor’s degree? The last few years were spent in school and the last few months were spent working part-time and applying for what I lovingly started calling “big girl jobs”. The jobs that are super serious with serious-ish money and responsibilities.

Amazingly, an HR job became available in Franklin that fit that criteria and I applied hoping, but not really thinking I would actually get it. I have a passion for Human Resources and I start my Master’s for it in the fall, but my experience is limited. They must of liked my caution as well as my positive attitude and business sense because they hired me. I think it was Jesus. I don’t shout from the rooftops, but I recognize a shift in the universe when I see one, and this was it. I fully feel like I am where I am meant to be and it was all in his timing. There has only been one other time in my life where I felt that and it was during my divorce.

It’s been quite the first week. The bigs went to their dad’s, the little’s started full-time summer camp, and I started my big girl job. It was NOT FUN getting the littles out the door to summer camp every morning. We have not got the routine down and this particular morning pictured I had to go back home and get Henry’s lunchbox because he left it on the bench. I’m really hoping the second week will go a little more smoothly. I was worried about summer camp, but they LOVE it! They don’t want to come home when I pick them up.

We adjusted to the downtime from having two less kids and Copper is taking up a lot of it because puppy.

Oreo really misses Noah. We don’t see this cat normally. He lives in Noah’s room unless he’s outside hunting moles, but since Noah is gone, he is coming around and sometimes even wants to be petted!

I’m looking forward to work this week and have faith that we will get into the groove. I’m gonna try to enjoy the time with the littles and not miss the bigs too much. We have some weekend fun planned this summer and I should probably study for the GRE. Here’s to manifesting dreams and walking them out when they come to fruition.

THEME BY ECLAIR DESIGNS