Happy Halloween! Today is the last day of the challenge. I made it! I enjoyed writing on a daily basis and think I will continue to write often.
For all my pondering I feel like I can’t keep it up all the time. Sometimes I get tired, I get overwhelmed and just wish that someone would push the reset button, but life with four kids just keeps steamrolling on right over me. We have our routines, which help, but at times everywhere I look there is something I haven’t done or a ball I’ve dropped. It’s easy to get depressed or bitchy, which seems to be the place I’m at now. In the grand scheme of things I’m happy, we’re all happy, but in the midst of the details, when it is the same thing everyday, getting onto the kids about the same stuff everyday, I think they get tired of hearing my voice and I get tired of speaking.
I know it has to do with my attitude. I see an enormous difference in the kids and our home life when I’m calm and firm rather than annoyed and snappy. Sometimes I can flip the switch, find the thing that will center myself again, but sometimes I feel as if I’m searching in the dark and stubbing my pinkie toe. I know things will even out (maybe when Henry begins to sleep through the night?). This time of year is always crazy, one holiday after another after another. October was especially crazy with a birthday, a trip to Portland, a halloween party and now halloween itself. Let’s mellow out November, okay?
Btw, Henry is finally rolling over. He went straight from rolling back to belly and back again in a day. I guess he just waited to learn it all at once!