Most likely it has to do with the fact that a monster inside me takes over when I’m hungry or the fact that children are manipulative sociopaths for most of the day with expressions of love reserved for when I’ve given them something they wanted (whether it is deserved or not). I also think that children at a certain age need more to do than simple activities to keep them occupied or entertained. These are the reasons that I do not especially love staying home with my children. I can do it. I’m perfectly capable of filling a day with projects and cleaning and outings and what not, taking the little nuggets of knowledge I learn along the way all the while my brain is screaming “feed me!”. I don’t think a good nonfiction book once in a while will cut it. I still need and want to be in school. Things might possibly change when the kids go back to school in a couple of weeks and when the baby arrives in February all those great mommy hormones will take over and I’ll be blinded by lack of sleep and loving the little one, but eventually, I know, I will want to be back in school learning and once that is complete applying that knowledge.
I appreciate those moms who find such blessing in staying home everyday with their children. I appreciate those moms reading Radical Homemakers and yearning to live on a farm and work the land all day long. I plan to live vicariously through those moms because I KNOW that ain’t the plan for me and my life. I think I get to have my cake and eat it too, because I have a husband who will bust his butt to allow me to stay home for a short while and supports my growth at school as well. I only hope I am returning the favor.
These days both sexes have a lot of choices that they didn’t have 50 or 60 years ago. I don’t think any one choice is the right choice. I think what works best in the home is what works best for the entire family. Not any one person’s “job” is more important than the other.
Right now my job is to grow a baby, take care of the kids and try to do as much as I can at home (which, sadly, isn’t very much and varies daily). It has been a rainy week, so I decided to take the kids to Funtasia this afternoon. They absolutely loved it. I looked around at the plethora of moms and kids and remembered what it was like to bring Noah here when he was just walking. Nora will turn 4 years old in about a month, so the memories of holding and caring for an infant or even a toddler are very fuzzy. It was nice to see all these little babies at various stages and try to remember what it was like. I know I enjoyed it very much staying home with my babies. It was very hard to go back to work too soon after they were born. I’m grateful that Jason and I agree about raising the kids and that most likely I’ll get to stay home for a while with the baby. I guess that’s all I can take away from these seasons; gratefulness for our time together and our time apart.