Adrift

I stumbled upon this interesting blog the other day. She’s very candid and insightful, but most is taken with a grain of salt. This post brought to mind a lot of what I have been observing in my treks to see old friends, even locally, regrouping with not so old friends. I was noticing a lot of the same. Some things (and some people) were definitely different, but some were the same. These people were having the same problems they have had for years or were dealing with the same conflicts within themselves that they have for years. Why is that? Is it because no one had brought it to their attention? Is it because it takes revelation of one’s self? I wonder if it is because a lot of us drift?

A really great question is; does this decision line up with the end goal? If I don’t know what that end goal is then I have some thankin’ to do. Sometimes we drift into a crisis. I no longer let myself do that and try my best to be aware of it. For example: thinking…I have to buy a car now because I let this issue go on too long and now it is broken or I have to buy it here with a high interest rate because I didn’t take the steps previously to get my credit into shape although I knew I’d have to. That kind of thinking gets me into trouble.

Although I try to avoid crisis, sometimes you can’t escape it. You can still make good decisions though if you refuse to make decisions based on what you feel you have to do. You don’t have to do anything. I remember Pat telling me a long time ago that even when you feel helpless you still have power. Making a decision to do nothing is still a decision made, though subconsciously.

I am always really proud of myself when I do make a decision that I know aligns with my end goals. I am trying my best to get my credit in shape and am enduring a car (possibly without a/c in what feels like THE HOTTEST SUMMER EVER) until I am better able to get a loan on my own. Yesterday Jason and I were sitting in my Serenity Garden enjoying the late afternoon mosquitos watching Noah run around the yard and loved that I had decided to go ahead and spend the time and money to make a spot for us. As I continue to make decisions based on the end goals and not on comforts or crisis, I hope that silly stability thing will fall into place.

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