First Day

Yesterday was Noah’s first day of 2nd grade and my first day of being home with just Nora and Lorelei. We dropped him off at 745a (school starts at 8a) to give him time to get to his classroom and then since we were already out, I took the girls to the park.

image Now who has crazy hair? lol

image First time in a park swing!

I needed some things from the grocery store and then I accidentally left them (paid for!) at the store, so I had to go back! I decided to try a new recipe of Pink Lemonade Cupcakes, so while we were there I grabbed what we needed to make them. I let Nora watch a movie and then we made the cupcakes which DID NOT turn out. I don’t know what I did wrong! I hate that! …not a good day.

Noah got home at 4pm. Holy Moly that is an hour after school lets out! He loves his school, he loves his teacher, he likes staying late because he gets to help the teacher after school sharpen pencils and stuff. I hope it lasts! lol

I had a realization yesterday evening. That beautiful fantasy of homeschooling, Waldorf, thisyearisgonnabegreat, so completely wrong. My child is used to school. She is already bored and it was just the first day! Summers with Noah home is great, they play all day together, we do fun things like go swimming. Nora at home alone is not the same. She’s been in daycare since she was one. She already did a year of prepping for Kindergarten. I simply cannot compare. I cannot turn back time, which is what it would take. I also realized that I could prob do one or two activities with her a day, but more than that is not me and she needs more than that.

It makes me so angry that she can’t start school, when she is CLEARLY ready. I read all about how waiting is great and she’ll be older and I won’t regret it, but I think that is crap. That is for kids who already stay home and another year ain’t no big deal. Suffice it to say we are looking into another Pre-K program. The budget has been cut for the county programs (and we really don’t want her there anyway), but there is two other options in town. One is more of a school and less of a daycare. She would not be able to go full-time, but even two days a week would be good.

I’m trying so hard not to feel like a failure, but I’m pretty good at sizing up situations quickly and this will not work. Although, I do have to admit that she may just have to suffer at home. It is frustrating to not have seen myself and Nora more clearly, to not have been able to see the difference between what I want and who I am, but I see it now. Hopefully it can be rectified before any damage is done.

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