For those of you who don’t knit you may not get this entirely, but I think it can be related to anything worth time and effort.
I really like knitting. I don’t get to do it that often, which is difficult because I think they would be much prettier items if I was never interrupted. I am not that great at it. I can admit that. Although I am so proud of myself once the item is done, I am a total perfectionist and go straight to the obvious-to-me “boo-boo’s”.
What I love about knitting is the texture of the yarn and the patterns of bumps and v’s. The rhythmic motion of the stitching itself. I love that little by little my progress is shown.
I have started a scarf for Christmas. It is my third scarf (I really like scarves) and it is a bit more difficult than the other scarves I have made. I have already had to start over once and the pattern begins by casting on 60 stitches! I then decrease for two rows and start a pattern of alternating rows. It is very precise. If you mess up it almost screams at you! Look here! What happened the first time around was I got mixed up and did the same row twice which flipped the pattern. Grr. I back-tracked about four rows, but couldn’t fix it and had to start over.
Yesterday, low and behold I did it again. four rows of the opposite pattern. I was deeply grieved. I cannot even explain my sadness-silly as it sounds. I had gotten so far, yet realized I was doing it wrong. I would now have to back-track AGAIN or possibly even start over. It takes such concentration and mental energy to fix the boo-boos. This was the wavering point. Give up? I live in Florida for God’s sakes, who really NEEDS a scarf? I did not give up. I fixed the boo-boos and then commenced knitting the rows over again, weary, but determined. At dinnertime I looked at my scarf (which by the way is probably only 6 inches long at this point but with a very cute ruffle at the end) and saw my progress, but now with humility.
Knitting is a one person show. You don’t have teammates or anyone to blame but yourself. It is a bit silly how this one hobby brings up such red flags in my personality. The funny thing is that this is how you learn to knit. You practice. You make mistakes and then fix them. You forgive yourself and learn to appreciate the effort rather than just the completed project. I could give up. WHO needs this kind of frustration?? With the frustration comes contentment and peace. I will continue to plug away at this craft for the enjoyment and insight in hopes that I will have Christmas presents for a few friends and family. Despite the boo-boos.
* I would share a pic, but it is a CHRISTMAS present (shh!)