I’m still adjusting to life with four kids. If we had gradually moved from 3 to 4 I doubt it would be this difficult, but from 2 to 4 the jump is significant. I think I always wanted four or five kids, but the reality is a lot more stressful than I imagined, but the joy is there too.
One thing is for sure. There doesn’t feel like enough time in the day to get everything done or to give to each child. I ate lunch at 2p yesterday and held Henry for half the time. I’m always telling each one to hold on a minute while I finish whatever it is I’m doing. I know that that helps teach patience, which is good, but it’s still hard to hear myself put them off. Part of it is the fact that it is Summer right now. When the big kids start school I’ll be home with just Lorelei and Henry and then just Henry Monday and Wednesday mornings. I can’t tell you how much having my two year old in a morning program saves my sanity and allows me to stay home without getting majorly depressed.
It’s also hard to have any time to myself. I settle for time with just one child (nursing Henry, or working on something in the office while Lorelei plays on the floor with her babies) and try to remember that they grow up quickly. They really do.
I’ve been wanting another tattoo for over a year. You can’t get them when you are pregnant, so that was part of the waiting. The other part was being a bit of a snob and finding just the right place. I finally did and figured out a way to make it happen. Jason had to drive to Waynesville with me (twice) once to check out the place and show the artist my picture and the next weekend to actually get the tattoo. I was told it would take about an hour and a half and since Henry eats every couple of hours that would be perfect. Jason, being awesome, went with and didn’t complain even though an hour and a half stretched to three hours. The dude was very thorough and/or doesn’t know time management.
I love how it turned out. It looks very dark in the picture, but the shading will fade to a light grey. The fan is colored pink, red and white to look water-colored (that’s why it looks washed out). It may seem crazy to go to all of this trouble for a silly thing like a tattoo, but it was something for me. While I still enjoy staying home, I get lost only thinking about the kids and their needs. I know in time I will get more freedom and be able to do the things I hope to do, but for now I am reminded that I am a person, learning and growing with my own thoughts and ideas, rocking an awesome tattoo with a few more in mind.