I wish I could just throw up on this page and tell you everything that is going on, the things that are changing or could change, but it’s one of those delicate situations that involve quiet contemplations with too many factors to pin down actual decisions. Confused yet? Yeah, me too.
This place we are in is not the place we thought we would be in at this point in our lives. Life would be pretty boring if it all went as planned and we’d all be pretty shallow people as a result. Although some days are depressing, we have so much to be thankful for that I rarely wallow too long in the muck. I love my husband and have lived too long (and through too much) to NOT have faith that these are just bumps and a part of the journey.
It is important to see who we really are when things don’t go as planned. When you tell your child no, you can see from his or her reaction how they really feel, where they are in the development of their character. That doesn’t change with age. I’m so very glad to see Jason’s character during this season of opportunity (which I’ve just now decided to call it). Every day there is a new development. Something positive comes about and usually something negative. It is never wholly one or the other and we just keep taking the next step with the quiet contemplation I mentioned before. I remember verses I’ve learned from what seems like a previous life ingrained in my own character and know the promises are eternal not worldly and that happiness is a choice as well as contentedness. I’m happy as long as we “keep moving forward!” Honesty is also very important during this time period. Being honest with ourselves and with each other. Knowing boundaries. Knowing that my way isn’t always best and that we are in this together. I wouldn’t know all of these things if I hadn’t made the choices I’ve made so far in this life and for some reason that makes it even more rich. Stumbling around just trying to fill the emptiness gets old quickly (for some). Choosing to do the hard thing with a long-term goal in mind isn’t always fun, but produces such good fruit that it is worth the short-term sacrifice.
So, I’ve written this more for me than you, but a quick and confusing peek is probably better than no peek at all right? :o)