The Beginning and the End

E very semester is the same. I start out excited, ready to tackle my new classes, but by midway I am so ready for it to be over with. Then, when I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I get motivated again and finish up the semester with good grades and a sigh of relief. That’s where I am now. I see the end. I am motivated (maybe even a little scared that I won’t get it all done) and ready for it to be over. I have about two weeks to go!

I will not be taking Summer classes this year. Hopefully I will be working and not bored out of my mind with the kids gone. I’m glad to see my classes end, but I love learning and know I will be excited to start the Fall semester and finish my degree.

Jason and I have been talking about when to start having babies. It’s a really big decision even though we already have Noah and Nora. The few people I have talked to (people with a lot of life experience) say that I shouldn’t wait for the “perfect” time to have kids. I can tell you that from my experience too. Life is out of our control and the perfect time could turn into the worst time within a month of being pregnant. There are things that I would like… I would like to be pregnant during the winter months. I would like to have the kids be close in age. I would like to be done having kids and finish my B.A. degree before starting my career. There is one major thing that I would also like… I would like for Jason’s business to be a little more established. Once we are pregnant, not only does life get way more expensive, but you can’t be as sacrificial as you once were. I don’t want our family to become a burden that breaks the cart if you know what I mean.

I think I may be a little traumatized from my last two pregnancies. I loved being pregnant, but Patrick and I lived with people, moved to Pennsylvania, lived with more people, couldn’t afford anything, lived with more people and even though I know that things will be more stable with Jason, I don’t want this next pregnancy to be a huge upheaval to our lives. I think that’s what I’m afraid of. As much as I talk about it being “no big thing”, deep down I know that babies are life changing; every time. It is supposed to be life changing in a good way though. We haven’t made any decisions yet, but I am excited to start this new chapter in our lives. Not so excited about pushing out a 10 pound baby, but I’ll think about that at another time. :o)

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