Trust is the most important thing in any relationship. I now know this because of my relationship with Jason. With, “that other guy” I didn’t know it, but there had not been any trust for a long time and every area of our relationship suffered.
Trust is in the little things. It’s in the I’ll be home at ___ and actually getting there about that time. Except on rare occasions of course. It is in acting with character and integrity in everyday interactions. It is acting in a trustworthy manner, not lying or stealing or hurting others purposefully. When you act with integrity the other person can put their trust in you that you do the right thing and then is able to trust you with the most important thing…their heart. It is only because Jason is a trustworthy person that I know he won’t hurt me purposefully, so I can come to him vulnerably when we are arguing and say, “I’m sorry” and show him my brokeness without shame or guarding my heart incase he would make fun of me.
This has been the best part of loving Jason. He has healed past hurts simply by being a respectable person. When he gets mad he doesn’t usually take it out on me or blow up on me if we are having a fight. He is usually as transparent as a piece of glass, so I know I hurt him when I hurt him, not down the road after 3-4 more hurts. This causes me to reflect and to see myself more clearly. I have never seen myself as clearly as what Jason is able to show me through my actions with him.
I have learned with Jason that it is better to tell him right away that he hurt me instead of what I usually do, which is be mean until you guess that I’m mad at you and why. Simply saying, “you hurt me” makes me stop being mean and allows Jason and I to talk. We are then open and honest, trying to see one another’s side of the situation and come to an understanding. This has been extremely important these past few months now that the business is growing and we are in a new office. Not only do we have a home relationship, but we also need to navigate a work relationship. I f I have a problem with my boss who do I complain to!? It’s fun trying to switch back in forth between boyfriend and boss I’m sure. Girlfriend and manager is no different, but without the trust we would never be able to work together and live together so peacefully.