That’s right, learned, as in past tense. I’ve recently left the county. I put my notice in and due to a toxic environment left earlier than expected. Lets just say people show their true colors when you stop playing their games.
I was so very naive when I started the job. I thought if you work hard it would be all cupcakes and rainbows. Unfortunately, you gotta have a lot more tools in your tool box than that in order to flourish.
Here’s what I learned:
- I’m self motivated. I sincerely did not know this about myself and it was one of the reasons I started looking for a job. I thought I needed someone to tell me what to do in order to stick to a schedule or plan. It turns out I don’t. I got almost zero supervision and direction during my time there and did exceptionally well with what was first expected of me.
- I need to work on receiving constructive criticism. Or maybe I need to learn to take bad criticism? Not all supervisors are equipped to give constructive feedback and I recognize that I can take things personally and need to bypass the hurt feelings and ask more questions.
- I want to be there for my children. This year has kicked our ass when it comes to sickness. I think my kiddos have been more sick than they ever have in their entire lifetimes combined this year. I attribute this to stress, poor nutrition due to convenience and limited time constraints and shitty weather. (Has it finally stopped raining??) When they’re sick, I want to be able to take the time off necessary to get them well without having to feel guilty all around.
- I don’t give a crap about appearances. But others do. Being in leadership has a lot more to do with looking right than being right. Some people play this game better than others. At the end of the day I still want my work to speak for itself and if it doesn’t, then I need to find another position.
- I have more confidence. We recently went to a wedding and I was surprised at my comfort level with speaking with anyone in the room. I look people in the eye and say “Good Morning!” command respect and give respect. As a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) for 7 years I lost myself a little bit and doubted my abilities. My time with the County gave me experience and confidence in myself and pushed me to be better. I will forever be grateful for that.
- I’m really lucky. I say that because I didn’t have to stay in an environment that I didn’t enjoy and couldn’t see myself in for very long. There were some really great people there that I’m going to miss and there were some turds. I’m sure that’s true for any work environment. Thankfully, I had a choice in whether to stay or go.
I’m really happy being a SAHM for now. I have applied for a few positions, but haven’t heard anything yet and I’m okay with taking a little break. I don’t have any regrets because I learned a lot and will use these valuable lessons in the future. I now have more time for school (yep, still getting that HR degree!) and when the kiddos are sick, the dog has to go to the vet or the kids have doctor or dentist appointments, I’m available. That might not seem like a big deal to some, but it is to me. In the end, it made me a better SAHM. Imagine that.